Dull. Boring.
I felt like my whole life is so screwed.
Today, I went from being sad to being angry and then to being depressed. Such an emotional rollercoaster. In fact I was disappointed too. Am I not good enough? Am I not worthy enough? Have I not proven myself to others that I am capable? I don't know.
I felt like everyone was ignoring me. I felt like my presence was ignored. It takes so much effort for me to speak up, yet no one listens. No one bothers. It takes so much effort for me to make my presence known. Yet I still got ignored.
It's frustrating you know. Not being able to communicate. Not sure of what kind of reaction, what kind of words, what kind of actions I am supposed to do in response to other people's conversation. I felt like I gradually lost the confidence I tried so hard to gain in talking to people. And I felt like I should remain silent and cold.
Maybe I don't have what it takes to stand out.
Maybe I am just not the kind of person who can stand out.
Maybe I am better off hiding in my own shell.
Maybe... I should very well just shut up.
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